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June 5, 2011 / paperkids

Seasons of change

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”    Psalm 118:24
 
 
Despite the fact that we’d flown over 2,000 miles, getting little to no sleep the night before on the red-eye flight from Los Angeles to Tampa, I found myself up at six o’ clock in the morning with the kids. Experiencing what might be the first of many meltdowns, I grabbed my mug of coffee and flew out of the creaky screened door before I lost my cool. Well, okay, maybe I had already lost it a little. These are some tough times after all. A time of uncertainty and change. And apparently the children are not the only ones who have a hard time with transition. And they aren’t the only ones throwing tantrums around here.
I began to walk the property. The grass was still wet with dew and air was still crisp and cool. Sunlight crept through mom’s large honeysuckle plant, showering the large open spaces with gold. The massive bush had grown from a few small stems and roots that my great-grandmother had given mom about 15 years ago. She uprooted them from soil in Georgia and planted them in the ground here where now they have grown into a sprawling fragrant bush.  I love coming outside this time of day here, early in the morning, when everything feels fresh and new.
There’s been a lot of talk about change lately. And I couldn’t be more in the middle of it. The four of us are going through such a huge upheaval with this move that it’s all I can do not to be scared out of my mind. I used to be up for anything! What happened to that girl?! I want her back! I don’t want to be afraid for life to happen.
 
Later on when all was calm, I did what I usually do when I visit home – I started going through old photos. Among the baby pics and some shots from the 80’s that will never see the light of day, I found a poem I must’ve written when I was young. And surely I wrote it out here. It looks like it went through a hurricane because, well, it probably did.
I was reminded of the beauty of a single day.  From the sun rise to its setting, every day is in constant motion. Even in nature, change happens all day long as days string into months and then years. I don’t know what the future holds for my life or what seasons of change are still to come, but I have been given this day.  And in that great expanse within, one thing remains constant – the unchanging Spirit who dwells beyond time and space, plants roots deep within my heart. 
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11 Comments

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  1. Lynn States / Jun 5 2011 9:18 pm

    And I’m so glad there is the one true ‘constant’ in life even when all else is uncertain.

  2. AutisticSpeaks / Jun 5 2011 11:08 pm

    Love it!

  3. artmartyr / Jun 6 2011 6:52 pm

    Love it, Sabra. My prayers are w/you guys during this transition. ~Nikki

  4. Katie Cameron / Jun 6 2011 8:21 pm

    Sabra – First, I wish I had your faith… I know you find so much comfort in it and right now, with yet another loss in my life, I wish I could turn to that. I think, or at least it seems, that you find a greater sense of faith or a closer connection to God at your parents’ home. I can see why you needed to be there so very badly.
    Second, I wish I had your talent… You write so beautifully. Even your prose is poetic, sweet, charming, gentle. You have a real gift (and apparently have had it all your life!).
    I love you and miss you more than you know. – Katie

    • paperkids / Jun 7 2011 12:57 pm

      I needed to read this, Katie:) I wish I had your giving and encouraging nature – listening and loving with your arms open. I’m so sorry for another loss in your life! It just seems like one after another! I miss you too and think about you every day! Talk soon!! Love you:)

  5. Aunt Molly / Jun 6 2011 9:21 pm

    ” Through seasons of change of joy and of fear
    You’ve lived in my heart where you always are near”

    It’s beautiful Sabra.

    Psalm 118:(25) Save now, I pray, O Lord; O Lord, I pray, send now prosperity!

  6. grandma 2 / Jun 12 2011 1:33 am

    A power greater than ourselves will restore us to sanity.

  7. Gloria / Jun 12 2011 7:41 am

    You amaze me.

  8. Rosemary / Jun 13 2011 9:47 pm

    Hi Sabra, I’ve been following your blog for a long time….you have such a wonderful way with words. I think about you and Jared and the kids often and pray that this transition will be more than you could possibly hope for. Keep smiling! Love, Rosemary

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