June 5, 2011 / paperkids

Seasons of change

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

Despite the fact that we’d flown over 2,000 miles, getting little to no sleep the night before on the red-eye flight from Los Angeles to Tampa, I found myself up at six o’ clock in the morning with the kids. Experiencing what might be the first of many meltdowns, I grabbed my mug of coffee and flew out of the creaky screened door before I lost my cool. Well, okay, maybe I had already lost it a little. These are some tough times after all. A time of uncertainty and change. And apparently the children are not the only ones who have a hard time with transition. And they aren’t the only ones throwing tantrums around here.

I began to walk the property. The grass was still wet with dew and air was still crisp and cool. Sunlight crept through mom’s large honeysuckle plant, showering the large open spaces with gold. The massive bush had grown from a few small stems and roots that my great-grandmother had given mom about 15 years ago. She uprooted them from soil in Georgia and planted them in the ground here where now they have grown into a sprawling fragrant bush. I love coming outside this time of day here, early in the morning, when everything feels fresh and new.

There’s been a lot of talk about change lately. And I couldn’t be more in the middle of it. The four of us are going through such a huge upheaval with this move that it’s all I can do not to be scared out of my mind. I used to be up for anything! What happened to that girl?! I want her back! I don’t want to be afraid for life to happen.

Later on when all was calm, I did what I usually do when I visit home – I started going through old photos. Among the baby pics and some shots from the 80’s that will never see the light of day, I found a poem I must’ve written when I was young. And surely I wrote it out here. It looks like it went through a hurricane because, well, it probably did.

I was reminded of the beauty of a single day. From the sun rise to its setting, every day is in constant motion. Even in nature, change happens all day long as days string into months and then years. I don’t know what the future holds for my life or what seasons of change are still to come, but I have been given this day. And in that great expanse within, one thing remains constant – the unchanging Spirit who dwells beyond time and space, plants roots deep within my heart.