“R” for Rewire

Emma marched in the house from the school bus one afternoon and plopped down on the couch.  She was visibly upset in a way that was unusual.  Sometimes she has behaviors that are impulsive and sensory based, so that it seems like she might be upset, even when she’s not.   Thank God now I can communicate with her to find out!  I sat down with the ipad.

Me:  “Emma are you okay?”

Emma:  I am a smart girl

Now this is something that I’ve heard many times from Emma.  It was one of the very first things she wanted me to know when she started communicating.  For so long, everyone had treated her as if she didn’t  understand much (including me too many times to count).  Why wouldn’t she want to tell me how smart she was over and over!?

Me: “I know you are!!  Why, what happened?”

Emma:  Some kid called me retarded at recess

My heart just sank. And then Emma did something that she doesn’t usually do, and it really broke my heart.  She just started bawling.  She whaled and covered her face with her arms, mouth wide open, tears falling from her eyes.

She wasn’t able to tell me who this kid was.  It can’t be easy for kids like Emma.  They work SO hard to accomplish what the world wants them to in order to “fit in”.  None of those kids will ever know how hard she works to keep her body calm, communicate, learn and all the while have the most sincere desire to be a part of a social scene – to belong.

The “R” word makes me cringe when I hear it these days.  I guess before I had a child who was diagnosed with mental retardation, I might have never given it a thought.  Or maybe I would have.  The thing is, that I don’t remember hearing it slapped across the mouth of every child, teenager and adult as I do now!

There happens to be another “R” word that I’ve seen Emma type out many times : Rewire.  She uses it to talk about personality, or rather the changing of personality.  She tells me about how she works hard to rewire herself and also about how she thinks people should also rewire their minds –  change their perceptions about autism and disabilities in general.  There’s that old saying that sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.  Well, I’m not so sure about that.  Words are very powerful, even when thrown around in a casual conversation between friends.  We’ve probably ALL been guilty of using the “R” word.   But that word causes pain.  It brought many tears and negative self-perceptions to my child.

I think it’s important for us to stand up for those who may not be able to stand up, or speak, or behave in the “typical” fashion.  Our world needs a little “rewiring” of our minds to better understand and be sensitive to those with disabilities.

Here is a poem that Emma typed out last year and I think it’s fitting.  She picked out the picture to go with it, too!

I know it’s hard to change a slang and especially one that everybody is saying, but please  JUST SAY NO to the “R” word!!!

That is all.